Are you HAPPY for NO REASON?

Today I was sifting through all of my past journals I wrote and came across a common theme in them. I noticed that throughout a lot of my writings I kept saying "I need to be happy for no reason". Now to be perfectly honest I normally am the type of person who relies on reasons to be happy whether I realized it at times or not.

I found myself writing about things I wanted to happen and then constantly complaining about them until they happened the way I wanted them to (relationships, the job, money, car, health). Now if these things turned out the way I wanted them to, I was happy. On the other hand, if these things did not turn out the way I wanted, you will be surprised to know I was NOT HAPPY. So, when they didn't turn out the way I wanted that's when I would write " I need to be happy for no reason".

What's funny is this: Leading up to something ex: Will I get that job, I am so calm and collective saying things like "If it God's will I will get it" or " What is meant to be will be" and my favorite "I will be fine either way".

I found it concerning that I truly believed all of those things when I was saying it. I actually thought It was going to be okay and I would be fine and I wouldn't freak out, and it couldn't be further from the truth. When things wouldn't go my way, I would immediately spiral downhill. I would question God, myself, and anything that I could. It's like I had put all of my happiness in circumstances. I allowed my happiness to depend on situational things and let me tell you, that is a dangerous place to live. I came to 2 conclusions the day I realized I did this

1) This is so embarrassing that I do this, especially if anyone is watching.

2) Its too exhausting to live this way any longer

I had to make a choice, did I want to just keep only being happy when things went right? Did I want to just be happy for no reason?

I chose to start being happy for no reason and you should to, and if you find yourself needing a reason, trust me there are plenty:)